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What’s happened to our sex life?

What’s happened to our sex life?

Sex is a vital part of human existence - not just for the sheer continuation of the species, either! Sex is intended to be an enjoyable, endorphin releasing bonding experience... however unfortunately this is not always the case.

You may find that your sex drive has inexplicably disappeared in recent months, leaving you confused, guilty or even frustrated with your partner’s advances (which were previously welcomed!) Perhaps it’s your partner who has gone a bit cold - causing you to question their fidelity.

Before you trudge the quagmire of self-doubt and worry about whether or not your partner still finds you attractive, it’s important to be aware that there are a number of factors that can contribute to loss of libido. Some of them are more likely to affect men, others are more likely to affect women and some can cause problems for both sexes.

Here are some of the most common causes:

1. Alcohol

    Drinking excessive amounts of alcohol decreases inhibitions for sure, but drunken advances may be a real turn-off for your partner and, if you’re a guy, it may interfere with your ability to get an erection. When consumed in moderation alcohol is fine, but too much can put a real droop in the event. Literally.

    2. Pills and Potions

    Some medications, such a beta blockers and water tablets, may lower the libido. Certain over-the-counter supplements may have a similar effect. Make sure that you read the labels on all medications carefully, to check for any side effects.

    3. Erection Problems

    When a guy finds it difficult to get an erection it can sap him of confidence, causing the problem to become much worse. Most men experience such a problem at some point in their lives, but when it becomes a regular thing professional help may be required… sooner rather than later.

    4. Stress

    Feelings of stress can cause numerous health problems for both sexes. It's not good for the blood pressure and it can be a passion killer as well.

    5. Bad Diet and Lack of Sleep

    Our bodies require a sufficient amount of nourishment and sleep in order to function at optimal levels. If either one of these things is lacking, especially for long periods of time, the body’s hormone levels may go into disarray and subsequently stop functioning at peak capacity. The sex drive is often one of the first things to be impacted by this. Nutrient deficiencies and exhaustion are widely touted as key passion killers in our modern society.

    6. Lack of Closeness/Trust

    Sex is an intimate act. When people lose their feeling of closeness or there is a lack of trust it can create a barrier that prevents couples from being able to share themselves with their partners. Fear of judgement, ridicule or disgust can be very damaging to libido and sexual activity. Often this can be resolved with counselling and good communication.

    7. Starting a Family

    When couples first get together there’s plenty of time to enjoy each other's company with date nights and plenty of fun bedroom activity! When one or more children are added to the equation, parents may find it hard to enjoy their "special" time together. With children come added stresses, topics to argue about and exhaustion because of lack of sleep. To make matters even worse, some women may sometimes think that the stretch marks and/or any extra weight they have put on make them less attractive to their partners.

    8. Loss of Self-Esteem & Depression

    The ageing process can also result in a lack of self-esteem. The body changes as it grows older, it becomes easier to put on weight, and lines and wrinkles appear on the face. The resulting lack of self-confidence can make people feel unworthy of attention and cause them to pull away from their partners. Depression often results in a lack of sexual desire. To make matters worse, some brands of anti - depressants can actually accentuate the problem.

    Getting Things Back on Track

    Often the support and reassurance of a loving partner can be enough to help get things back on track. When the problem is still unknown or due to medication, medical advice should be sought.

    In all cases, when a lack of libido becomes a problem, it is important to face it head-on, try and identify its root cause, and seek any relevant help that may be required. In many cases, such problems are only temporary and easily resolved with a few lifestyle changes.